One week from tomorrow I become a wife.
I have waited and prayed for this day for a long time. I have watched my best friends have their moments, and stood there asking God why I was having to wait, and never really getting much of an answer. I remember wanting to find my person so desperately it was all I could think about, and every guy I would meet would turn into, “Is this him?” – It was insane and super embarrassing. I even started crossing things off my list, like maybe he doesn’t have to be taller than me…or maybe he doesn’t have to know everything about fixing my car…I started compromising. On little and big things. And that wasn’t good at all.
I distinctly remember the season of life I was in when I finally met Jonathan. I had just come out of an awful season of pain, I was healing, and growing so close to Jesus. I had found some amazing friends, and I spent all my free time hanging out with them and learning how to love myself again. And that is when I met the absolute love of my life. He just found me. He walked right up to me, and my heart was so ready for him.
Now here we are, about to commit our lives to each other. I look back on my life, and I realized that if God had brought Jonathan to me at any other time in my life – I would’ve messed it up. I wasn’t ready. I sure did feel ready, but my heart wasn’t ready. I desperately wanted it, more than anything, but I had not healed enough from trauma and pain I had experienced in my teenage years. I had buried that pain, and called it healed.
See, God is such a good dad. He wasn’t going to give me Jonathan until He knew I wouldn’t mess it up. Because God knew losing Jonathan would be worse than waiting for him.
I really need you to get that – God knows that losing your dream because you weren’t ready for it is much worse than waiting until you are ready.
I know so many people who are waiting on their dreams. Whether is be professional, personal, spiritual – we are all waiting on something. But God is so good to us that He keeps things from us until we are prepared to walk it out.
I spent years avoiding my pain, and until I dealt with my heart issues, God knew I wouldn’t be able to be in a real relationship with Jonathan. I needed to be able to give him every ounce of my heart. As soon as I walked through the season of allowing the Holy Spirit to heal me from those wounds, I met Jonathan.
There is a time and a season for everything. God doesn’t keep good things from us because He is mean or a trickster. He keeps them from us, so that when we get them – they can be everything we ever imagined and more.
Rest easy friends, you can trust His timing.